Looking Back

Originally posted 9/20/2009


During the (almost) 10 years Johnny and I have been married our focus has been on our lives and our family. These ten years have been filled with a huge number poor decisions as well as some pretty good ones. We’ve tried to make the best of what has come and I feel we’ve done a banner job. Mad props to myself and my husband. ;)
Now as I approach the second decade of our marriage and the next decade of my life, I feel anxious anticipation for what lies ahead. I am tempted to say, what lies ahead can’t be as bad as what I leave in my wake, but I know how untrue that statement is and I am not going to test it.
Looking back I see so many challenges and I wonder how I have been able to make it to this point. I still can’t figure it out, and yet here I am. 8 years after giving birth to my stillborn little boy, 6 years after my sister-in-law lost her 4 year battle with leukemia, 4 years after both of my grandfathers passed away, 2 years after my sister Carrie died suddenly and unexpectedly in front of my very eyes...that’s the SUPER-BIG stuff, there are plenty of other events that make this list.
There have been plenty of times where I felt I simply could not continue, but those times were thankfully short-lived and somehow I made it through.