Perspective

I often find myself in search of a frame of reference: Looking for something to remind me to stop nitpicking my life away. I found such a thing this evening:


Michiko was six and Shinichi was three years old. Their sister, Yoko, was only one and she had just started to walk around. A girl called Kimi-chan who lived next to our house was Shinichi's best friend. In those days there were few toys and they would often play house. But Shinichi wanted tricycle very much. He would always show a book with pictures of tricycles to Kimi-chan and say, "Look! Tricycle! Don't you think they're great?" He loved that book so much. However, he never asked me to buy him a tricycle. He knew that it was impossible. I wanted to buy him a tricycle, but tricycles couldn't be found anywhere in those days.

One day in June, Shinichi's uncle came to our house with a big package. He was in Japanese Navy.
"Shin-chan, I have something nice for you."
"What is it?"
"Guess. If your guess is right, you can have it."
When his uncle began to open the package, a handlebar appeared.
"Oh! a tricycle!" Shinichi's eyes shone with joy.
As soon as the handlebars came out, he grabbed them happily. Then he got on the tricycle and rode it to Kimi-chan's house to show it to her.
The tricycle was the one Shinichi's uncle had ridden in his childhood. He thought he would not need it anymore because he was going to war. He didn't think he would return home alive.
On the morning of August 6, 1945, Kimi-chan and Shinichi were in the garden. They were taking turns riding the tricycle. It was soon after I went inside the house that it happened.
Flash! Everything turned white.

I didn't know how much time had passed. I came to and found that it was dark all around. I was unable to move. When I felt around me, I touched something like a pillar. "Where am I?" There were fallen pillars around me and the ceiling was just above me. Then I realized that our house had collasped.
I managed to crawl out and stood on the roof. I couldn't believe what I saw then. The trees, houses and people had all disappeared.
"Anybody here?" I cried out. Then I heard someone say. "Help me!" I looked in the direction of the voice and saw my mother. I ran to her and found Shinichi under the big pillar. I couldn't see Kimi-chan anywhere.
While I lifted the pillar, my mother pulled Shinichi out. He was still holding the handlebars of his tricycle. His face had swollen up like a balloon and he was bleeding. When I started to run to Teishin Hospital, I heard someone else crying for help. It was my wife. The voice seemed to be coming from the place where the kitchen used to be. I cried, "Mother, take care of Shinichi. I must help my wife." I climbed up on the fallen roof and pulled off the tiles one by one until I finally got to my wife.

I looked up and saw Kimi-chan's house on fire. Suddenly I realized that I had not found my daughters yet. I called many times. "Michiko! Yoko!" Soon I found some of their clothes showing under the house. I tried to lift the fallen pillars but the fire was spreading toward me. It was so hot! The fallen pillars over my two daughters started to catch fire. I was helpless. I couldn't do anything for them. I prayed, "Michiko, Yoko, please forgive me."

I carried my wife on my back to the riverside. There were a lot of injured people there. They were crying, groaning and asking for water.
Shinichi had been taken to the riverside, too. "Water. Please give me some water," said Shinichi in a faint voice. My mother holding him in her arms. She had seen many burned people die after drinking water, so she didn't give any to Shinichi. He sometimes whispered to himself, "My...My..." "My what? What is it, Shinichi?" When I put my ear to his mouth, I heard him saying, "My tri...My tricy..." "Shinichi," I said, "You are holding your tricycle now!" I held his hands tightly. His swollen face moved a little. I thought he was trying to smile. That night, he died. It was only ten days before his forth birthday.

The next morning, the smoke from burning dead people was rising up everywhere. It smelled very bad, and I decided not to burn Shinichi's body. While I was digging a hole in a corner of the garden, Kimi-chan's mother came with her daughter's body in her arms. She said, "They were best friends. Please bury her together with him." So we put their hands together and buried them in the same place. I put his tricycle beside him.

In July 1985, 40 years later, I thought I should move Shinichi's bones to a grave. Early in the morning, Kimi-chan's mother and I began to open the hole where we had buried Kimi-chan and Shinichi. After a while, something like a rusty iron pipe appeared. It was the tricycle! I had forgotten all about it. Tears rolling my cheeks before i realized. Something white showed. Shinichi! Kimiko! Everyone gazed at their little hands. "They are still holding each other's hands," I said. Just then, I thought I heard Shinichi telling me "Father, you have gotten old."


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That is perspective to me. Whether I made a perfect meal, or got the laundry all folded and put away seems so ridiculous and insignificant, almost embarrassing really.

And so now I will go and kiss my sleeping babies on their heads and pray to keep this perspective available...