September 15, 1981 – January 10, 2003
My sister in law. She died almost 4 years ago at 21 years old. It sucks. Johnny was very close with his sister in the end, though they had a period of time (their teen years!!) where they didn’t get along well, and losing her at such a young age and only a year and a half after our son died, really hit him hard.
Shannon…what can I say about Shannon??? A lot actually. We hated each other in high school. I hated her friends, she hated mine. And when I started dating her brother…whoo! Let’s just say that they got a new puppy shortly after Johnny and I started dating and she wanted to name it after me…but not in an endearing way. LOL. It took a while before we connected.
In early 1999, during our senior year, she was diagnosed with leukemia. Not just any leukemia either, but the most aggressive kind; Acute Myelogenous Leukemia (AML) and had the most aggressive sub-type of that as well. She started her first round of chemotherapy shortly after her diagnosis and went into remission. She very dearly wanted to be a nurse and started school at Cal State Long Beach when she was well enough and worked at In-and-Out Burger part time during that period.
She stayed in remission for 18 months before her leukemia returned. Another round of chemo. In February 2001 they decided she needed a bone marrow transplant and found a match in an umbilical cord blood donor. A month or so before the scheduled transplant she visited Johnny and I in Washington state, where Johnny was stationed in the Navy. This trip marked the turning point for our relationship; Johnny was working a lot during that week and only had 1 or 2 days off, so it was just her and I most of the time. We had a blast. We played video games, watched tv, watched movies, ate junk food, drove around and got lost a lot, we went to see model homes and would plan our houses as though she would move up to Washington and live with us. :) It was just fun. I cried for a long timewhen she left.
Early April 2001 she had her bone marrow transplant. I was pregnant with Ethan at the time and 1500 miles away so I never saw her. We talked to her on the phone though. June 9, Ethan was stillborn. We had his funeral and burial in California in the town we grew up in. Shannon was still quite weak from her transplant and on immunosuppressant medication, but came to his funeral anyway. She had to wear a mask and was in a wheel chair…but she was there. It meant a lot to Johnny and I.
She recovered well from her transplant and was ecstatic in April 2002 when our son Gavin was born. She adored
that boy and I always loved watching her hold him. Sometimes I could see in her eyes the pain she felt knowing she’d never have biological children of her own. To take her mind off her health problems she busied herself with school and making plans for her future.
In October 2002 she had recently finished a pharmacy tech course and was working on nursing school again when she started feeling sick. She knew the cancer was back, though everyone else was in denial about it until the test results came back. So more chemo, this time it took over a week of VERY aggressive chemotherapy to put her in remission, and even then the bone marrow biopsy still showed 2% blasts. We celebrated Thanksgiving together while they looked for a new bone marrow donor.
In December they found 2 donors, both of whom were better matches than the original umbilical cord donor. The transplant was scheduled for the week before Christmas. Unfortunately an ultrasound just prior showed her liver was too damaged from all the cancer fighting meds and she simply wouldn’t be able to survive a transplant. She was going to die.
Shannon came up for Christmas with her parents and Johnny’s other sister, Natalie. We talked and talked. She took us all out for dinner, on her, to an expensive seafood restaurant in Seattle. We went bowling with her and Johnny's two cousins (whom we were very close with) and had an absolutely fabulous time, it was a really special day for us all and one that I'll always treasure. Saying good-bye to her knowing I’d never see her again while holding little 8 month old Gavin in my arms was incredibly difficult, but watching her hug Johnny for the last time broke my heart...I couldn't watch and had to leave the room.
She died 2 weeks later, at home in her bed with her mom by her side. We were flying down to be
with her and I remember looking out the window of the airplane and feeling an overwhelming sense of peace and the feeling that everything was going to be alright. My watch said 2:30. When we landed Johnny’s dad told us that Shannon had passed while we were in the air…at 2:30. I'm not a mystic and usually don’t tell stories like that…but I believe it meant something.
I miss Shannon a great deal and my life will never be the same without her. I had planned my future with her in it... She was just amazing. She delt with her illness with such grace and dignity, and bore it as I know I never could have born it. She was all strength and heart, but she was strong willed and let you know how she felt most of the time...I miss that. My children will grow up knowing about their Auntie Shannon and that she was such an amazing person, someone to look up to and strive to be like. I gave Annalise her middle name…Elaine. It meant a lot to do that for her. I just miss her...damn.
Happy birthday, Shannon. I miss you and love you.
Sorry this is written so poorly, but I'm really tired and a bit sick to my stomach this evening.
My sister in law. She died almost 4 years ago at 21 years old. It sucks. Johnny was very close with his sister in the end, though they had a period of time (their teen years!!) where they didn’t get along well, and losing her at such a young age and only a year and a half after our son died, really hit him hard.
Shannon…what can I say about Shannon??? A lot actually. We hated each other in high school. I hated her friends, she hated mine. And when I started dating her brother…whoo! Let’s just say that they got a new puppy shortly after Johnny and I started dating and she wanted to name it after me…but not in an endearing way. LOL. It took a while before we connected.
In early 1999, during our senior year, she was diagnosed with leukemia. Not just any leukemia either, but the most aggressive kind; Acute Myelogenous Leukemia (AML) and had the most aggressive sub-type of that as well. She started her first round of chemotherapy shortly after her diagnosis and went into remission. She very dearly wanted to be a nurse and started school at Cal State Long Beach when she was well enough and worked at In-and-Out Burger part time during that period.
She stayed in remission for 18 months before her leukemia returned. Another round of chemo. In February 2001 they decided she needed a bone marrow transplant and found a match in an umbilical cord blood donor. A month or so before the scheduled transplant she visited Johnny and I in Washington state, where Johnny was stationed in the Navy. This trip marked the turning point for our relationship; Johnny was working a lot during that week and only had 1 or 2 days off, so it was just her and I most of the time. We had a blast. We played video games, watched tv, watched movies, ate junk food, drove around and got lost a lot, we went to see model homes and would plan our houses as though she would move up to Washington and live with us. :) It was just fun. I cried for a long timewhen she left.
Early April 2001 she had her bone marrow transplant. I was pregnant with Ethan at the time and 1500 miles away so I never saw her. We talked to her on the phone though. June 9, Ethan was stillborn. We had his funeral and burial in California in the town we grew up in. Shannon was still quite weak from her transplant and on immunosuppressant medication, but came to his funeral anyway. She had to wear a mask and was in a wheel chair…but she was there. It meant a lot to Johnny and I.
She recovered well from her transplant and was ecstatic in April 2002 when our son Gavin was born. She adored
that boy and I always loved watching her hold him. Sometimes I could see in her eyes the pain she felt knowing she’d never have biological children of her own. To take her mind off her health problems she busied herself with school and making plans for her future.In October 2002 she had recently finished a pharmacy tech course and was working on nursing school again when she started feeling sick. She knew the cancer was back, though everyone else was in denial about it until the test results came back. So more chemo, this time it took over a week of VERY aggressive chemotherapy to put her in remission, and even then the bone marrow biopsy still showed 2% blasts. We celebrated Thanksgiving together while they looked for a new bone marrow donor.
In December they found 2 donors, both of whom were better matches than the original umbilical cord donor. The transplant was scheduled for the week before Christmas. Unfortunately an ultrasound just prior showed her liver was too damaged from all the cancer fighting meds and she simply wouldn’t be able to survive a transplant. She was going to die.
Shannon came up for Christmas with her parents and Johnny’s other sister, Natalie. We talked and talked. She took us all out for dinner, on her, to an expensive seafood restaurant in Seattle. We went bowling with her and Johnny's two cousins (whom we were very close with) and had an absolutely fabulous time, it was a really special day for us all and one that I'll always treasure. Saying good-bye to her knowing I’d never see her again while holding little 8 month old Gavin in my arms was incredibly difficult, but watching her hug Johnny for the last time broke my heart...I couldn't watch and had to leave the room.
She died 2 weeks later, at home in her bed with her mom by her side. We were flying down to be
with her and I remember looking out the window of the airplane and feeling an overwhelming sense of peace and the feeling that everything was going to be alright. My watch said 2:30. When we landed Johnny’s dad told us that Shannon had passed while we were in the air…at 2:30. I'm not a mystic and usually don’t tell stories like that…but I believe it meant something.I miss Shannon a great deal and my life will never be the same without her. I had planned my future with her in it... She was just amazing. She delt with her illness with such grace and dignity, and bore it as I know I never could have born it. She was all strength and heart, but she was strong willed and let you know how she felt most of the time...I miss that. My children will grow up knowing about their Auntie Shannon and that she was such an amazing person, someone to look up to and strive to be like. I gave Annalise her middle name…Elaine. It meant a lot to do that for her. I just miss her...damn.
Happy birthday, Shannon. I miss you and love you.
Sorry this is written so poorly, but I'm really tired and a bit sick to my stomach this evening.
2 comments:
Thank you for sharing that Stacey. It's difficult when someone close to you is taken. Life is so fragile, and stories like Shannon's & Ethan's, remind us how precious every moment is. And how we shouldn't dwell on the bad issues at hand, because like you said, they are only temporary. We should concentrate on savoring the wonder and the beauty we are given the opportunity to experience.
I needed to read that. Life gets crazy and we can forget what is really important. Thank you so much. I love you Stacey!
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